


Heart on Your Sleeve

by anakien



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: AU, Alive Mello | Mihael Keehl, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Episode 30: “Justice”, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Near | Nate River, Post-Kira Investigation (Death Note), Wammy's House Era (Death Note)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:49:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27203407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anakien/pseuds/anakien
Summary: In a world where your soulmate’s feelings about you are written on your body, Near has always known who his soulmate is.
Relationships: Mello | Mihael Keehl/Near | Nate River
Comments: 18
Kudos: 114





	Heart on Your Sleeve

**Author's Note:**

  * For [madmeridian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/madmeridian/gifts).



> Another soulmate AU, woop woop! I'm always sucker for a good soulmate AU, tbh. (It’s funny - I’ve written one other soulmate AU, which was ALSO from Near’s POV. I gotta do one for Mello next!)
> 
> This is an AU where your soulmate's feelings about you are written somewhere/anywhere on your body. 
> 
> Also, heads up. This Near is a little more... emotional than I imagine/try to write him. So we're just going to chalk it up to this AU and that he looks at Mello differently than he would in canon.
> 
> Anyway, I still don't own Death Note. Please enjoy, and don't forget to R&R!

Near has always known who is soulmate is.

L brought him to Wammy's when he was just a child. His skin was bare, then. It stayed that way until another child was brought to the orphanage nearly two years later. Another boy, who bit, screamed, and yelled until Roger finally cut him loose.

Near remembers watching him curiously. He ran up to the other children, speaking frantically in a language no one could understand. When it was clear nobody else would respond, he scowled and switched to heavily accented English.

Roger introduces him as Mello.

Mello sees him staring and glares at him. Another boy, Matt, who's been at Wammy's for even longer than Near has, is brave enough to go up to Mello. He offers him a football. Mello considers him for a moment and takes it, and they run off together.

That night, when he changes clothes to get ready for bed, the word "indifferent" is scripted across his belly. Mello was the only new person he'd met that day. It had to be him.

Near is six years old. He traces the words across his skin and then chooses to be as indifferent to Mello as Mello thinks of him.

* * *

Near is nine years old. L no longer shows his face at Wammy's anymore. He solves cases from some undisclosed location, hiding behind a screen.

Today, L calls in to their class. He allows the other kids to ask him questions. He laughs and tells stories of his cases. Talks about monsters and whatnot.

Near sits in the background, working on a puzzle. He has already met L. He doesn't idolize him the way the others do. He has always been different.

Instead of watching L's screen, he keeps an eye on Mello.

Mello is ten years old now. His original accent has completely disappeared, and now he shows a fondness for chocolate. He stands against the wall, several feet away from the others. He eats his chocolate bar and pretends he isn't interested, though his eyes keep trailing back to L's screen.

Near's stomach still says, "indifferent." He pretends he isn't watching him.

Two days after L's call, Roger calls him to his office. When Near arrives, he is a little surprised to see Mello, though he doesn't show it. Mello looks as confused as Near feels. Near settles on the floor by his side, holding his action figure in his lap.

Roger talks to them, explaining that L has picked the two of them to be his successors.

"But which one of us specifically?" Mello demands.

Near keeps his head down, but he wants to know just as badly.

Roger tells them that L didn't pick. He wants to train them both, wants to see how they develop. One of them will be chosen in the future, but they both need to work toward it. Both Near and Mello are already at the top of the class, but that's not why they were picked. Something about a nasty look in their eyes.

Near dismisses that. He may not have been interested in L's stories, but that doesn't mean much. L always tells the same stories.

When he finally looks up at Roger to show he understands, he catches Mello's gaze instead. For once, Mello's gaze is on him, with narrowed, angry eyes.

Oh, Mello is wearing a nasty look. He more likely had it, not Near.

He turns back to his action figure. Mello spits something harsh and stomps out. Roger sighs, long-suffering, and tells Near he hopes he will win the position, solely for his own peace of mind.

Near thinks that Roger shouldn't act like Mello is an inconvenience to his face. Instead, all he does is nod, face impassive.

He finds "anger" written on his left thigh that evening.

* * *

Eventually, "anger" is replaced by "hate," scrawled dead center on his forehead, directly under his bangs. It's a constant he can expect now, everyday, looking in the mirror.

He's not sure what he did to warrant the change. He is still working to be the lone successor, but so is Mello. He has never acted anything beyond indifferent to him, even though secretly, he likes Mello. He likes the challenge Mello brings him. He can respect his initiative.

Of course, he assumes those feelings are written somewhere on Mello's body. But everyone likes Mello, except for Roger. And nobody, especially not Mello, would think it would come from Near of all people. The others think him emotionless, a robot. He's not, he never has been, but he'll let them continue to think that.

Now, Mello glares at Near in class. Near steadily ignores him. He wouldn't expect anything less from Mello.

* * *

When L dies, Near's consistency is thrown off.

Roger tries to convince him and Mello to work together, to combine forces and work as L.

Near, in spite of himself, doesn't mind. He still likes Mello. Granted, he's also enjoyed beating him in class over the last few years, but Near privately thinks that Mello's drive, combined with his own logical way of doing things, would work quite well together. He agrees. It's not him that Roger has to convince.

Of course, Mello shuts that down immediately. He leaves Wammy's, a storm of raw emotions and bitter feelings. He leaves Matt behind, and everything else he's known for the last seven years. He leaves his soulmate behind, too, even if he doesn't realize who it is.

Near is thirteen. His forehead still reads "hate."

* * *

Four years pass slowly.

Near collects evidence about Kira. It's slow, tedious work. Part of him is annoyed that L deleted all of his evidence. Mostly, he is grateful that Kira doesn't have his hands on it. And he has never been one to back down from a puzzle.

He doesn't ever hear from Mello. Not that he expects to, really, but the fact that Mello's feelings about him are written on his forehead really means he _should_ be hearing from him.

Roger tells him that it's a good thing he doesn't know his soulmate. That all that 'bloody soulmate business' would get in the way of the Kira investigation.

Near thinks it's a little ironic. Roger was the one championing them to work together, after all. He wonders, had Roger known that day, would he still be pushing them together?

It's no matter. Mello has all but vanished from the world. Near has suspicions about where he's gone off to, but it's really none of his concern.

He doesn't miss Mello. He's too controlled for that. He is also too busy to think of these things, however, and so that is that.

* * *

"Near!"

Near looks up when Rester calls his name, pausing his toy train. Rester points at the screen, displaying live footage of the headquarters entrance. Mello stands at the door, a gun pointed at Lidner's head. His mouth is pressed in a firm line, and Lidner looks tense, but not frightened.

Near can't help the twist in his stomach when he sees Mello.

"What should we do?" Rester says.

"Let him in."

He expected Mello to come at some point. After all, Near does have the only photograph of him left on the planet.

He watches the screen, Mello and Lidner disappearing through the door. Rester and Gevanni come to flank his sides, guns pointed and ready.

Near, almost without thinking, tugs his bangs down to cover his forehead. He's always played with his hair, so it is not unusual for his men to watch him do this. He hopes that "hate" is completely covered, as Mello has never been one to hold back from dishing out a low-blow.

The elevator dings as it opens. Consumed with nervous energy, Near resumes the movement of his toy train, listening to the footsteps grow closer behind him.

"Welcome, Mello," he says when the footsteps stop. He keeps his eyes focused on the train.

"Put down your gun!" Rester barks. Gevanni shifts on Near's other side, equally ready to shoot.

Mello growls a little from behind him, and his men tense further.

"Everyone, please put down your guns," Near says calmly. "It is meaningless for us to shed blood here."

"But Mello killed the others!"

Mello snorts, somewhere off behind him.

"Don't make me repeat myself," he says firmly. "Our goal is to catch Kira." He finally turns and looks at Mello.

This is the first time he's seen Mello in four years. His hair is longer now, cut jagged and uneven. A large purple burn encircles the left side of his face. His jacket is heavy and unzipped, revealing a flash of skin under a cropped top. The glare, though, is the same. Something in his chest clenches, though he keeps his face impassive.

"Right now, killing Mello will not benefit us."

Rester slowly lowers his gun, and Gevanni follows. Mello, eyes tracking his men, slowly lowers his own weapon from Lidner's temple. With his other hand, he yanks his hood down.

Lidner takes a slow step away from him. Mello doesn't stop her, and she moves to the side.

"Have things gone as you planned, Near?" Mello asks, sneering.

"Yes. You've heard from Lidner, haven't you?" Near says dryly. "About the second L? I've pretty much figured out who Kira is, because of everything you've done."

Mello's sneer grows, and in an instant he points his gun towards Near. "Near, I'm not a tool for you to use to solve the puzzle," he spits.

At his threat, Gevanni and Rester point their guns back towards him.

Near huffs a little. "Mello, shoot me if you want," he says.

"Mello! If you shoot Near, we'll have no choice but to shoot you." Lidner steps back in front of Mello, blocking his shot to Near. "What'll happen if you both die? It would make Kira happy."

Near watches this unfold, impassive.

Mello appraises her. "That's true." He lowers his gun, and Lidner steps back to the side. "Near, I just came to get the photograph you have of me."

Near reaches into his shirt and pulls out the photo, where it was neatly pressed against his chest. Mello makes a face at that. "Yes, this is the photograph. I've already dealt with everyone who knows your face, at Wammy's House and elsewhere." He holds it outstretched between his fingers and throws it to Mello, who reaches out and catches it neatly.

Mello flips it over, to read the words Near had written before: Dear Mello. Near offers no reasoning for the note. Something twists within him, and then right before his eyes, a word is half visible on Mello's bare stomach. "Long" - Near assumes the word was meant to be "longing," though the rest of the word is covered by his shirt.

Mello's eyes are still trained on the photograph. He has no clue what just happened, but by Rester's sudden intake of breath, it's obvious he has seen the change.

Instead of commenting, he simply continues to speak. "I can't say I'm a hundred percent sure, but it's safe to say you won't be killed by the notebook. Is that all, Mello?"

Mello looks back up at him, face wrinkled with consideration. "Near, I have no intention of working with you."

"I know." This, Near expected.

"But it would upset me to receive this picture without giving anything in return."

Now that sparks Near's interest.

"The killer notebook," Mello says, voice pitched low and intense, "it's a shinigami's notebook. Whoever touches it is able to see the shinigami."

"That's crazy!" Rester says.

"Who would believe that?" Gevanni scoffs.

Near tugs on a lock of hair, considering Mello carefully. "I believe him. What good would it do for Mello to tell a lie like that? He would at least tell a better lie or something that has some truth to it. Therefore, shinigami really exist."

Mello's mouth twists up, a small curve of satisfaction. "The notebook I had was one that belonged to someone who wasn't a shinigami. Also, there were fake rules hidden among the rules written in it."

 _Now that is interesting_ , Near thinks. _How very helpful to know_.

"That's all I can tell you," Mello says. His smile is gone, and he turns and starts to head towards the elevator. After a few steps, he pauses and fumbles around in his coat pocket. He pulls out an open chocolate bar and snaps off a chunk with his front teeth. "Near."

"Mello."

"Which of us is going to get Kira first?"

Near can't help the tiny smile that grows at the thought of their challenge resuming. "The race is on."

"Our destination is the same. I'll be waiting for you."

"Alright," Near says, and he watches Mello finally walk out.

As soon as the doors close behind Mello, his team is instantly moving around him to debrief. Gevanni checks on Lidner, who brushes his concern off.

"I'm fine," she says, waving a hand dismissively. "I'm more concerned with what he said."

"That shinigami exist, and the killer notebook has fake rules in it." Near finishes her thought, and she nods.

"Near, do you think it's time to contact L again?"

Near pauses for a moment, considering his options. "Yes. Gevanni, please get the call ready."

Gevanni nods, and Near allows Lidner to go back to her apartment to get appropriately dressed.

While Gevanni is a few yards away, Rester comes up to Near, a hesitant look on his face. Ah, that's right. Rester also noticed the words change.

"Yes, Commander?"

"Mello's soulmate," he says, looking uncomfortable. "Do we need to organize protection for them?"

Near feels his mouth curl up with faint amusement. "Mello does not know who his soulmate is," he says. "I do not think we need to concern ourselves with them."

Rester relaxes marginally, but his expression is thoughtful. "Understood."

Near turns back to his train. He'll let Rester assume whatever he wants. His protection status is adequate enough, already.

Regardless of his emotions for Mello, Mello just became an even more important aspect of this case. With Mello's actions, he will be able to advance his own investigation and narrow it down further on Yagami.

Gevanni brings over his computer and microphone. He nods. "Call L. It's time."

* * *

When he goes to bed that night, "hate" is gone from his forehead. He blinks, shocked, and searches his body for the change. "Dislike" is now written across his right ankle.

He lets out a little huff of breath, amused in spite of himself. Mello has never ceased to surprise him.

* * *

When Mello dies, Near is eighteen years old. His right ankle reads "dislike," and it will be permanent for all to know that his soulmate didn't like him.

He grieves, though he hides it from his team.

Days later, the confrontation with Kira takes place, and Light Yagami is killed by the shinigami using the power he claimed to possess.

He explained to the Japanese task force just how much this victory came from Mello's actions. None of them really seem to grasp the magnitude of it like Near does.

Still, Near knows that Mello would want credit where credit is due. There is nobody left for him to share it with, except for Roger, who listened to the whole story with the faint disdained look that he always wore when dealing with Mello.

He's L now, the Kira investigation is over, and yet something is still missing.

* * *

One month after the Kira investigation is over, Near's word changes. "Regret" is now scrawled across the back of Near's left hand.

His chest is tight. This can only mean one thing, which is that Mello is actually alive. Somewhere, somehow. Kira didn't actually kill him like Near thought.

He's relieved. Happy, even. He's grieved over the past month. He knows he doesn't actually love Mello, and he never has, but he still appreciates the fact that he's alive.

When he glances down, the word is gone. Near goes to the bathroom and finds "confused" written across the side of his neck. He brushes a finger across the word and then folds up the collar of his shirt to cover it.

He has work to do. If Mello wants to talk to him, he will seek Near out. All he has to do is wait.

* * *

When Mello finally shows up again, the word on Near's shoulder reads "ambivalent."

Near walks to his private rooms late one evening, and is nearly thrown off by the open door, cracked ever so slightly. Unease prickles for a moment, but he realizes that anyone who truly wishes him harm would not leave a message like this. He walks inside, unafraid.

Mello is sitting in the corner of his room, face shrouded in darkness.

Near turns the light on, and Mello squints at him, eyes adjusting to the dark. Near searches him carefully. No visible words this time, though he looks more tired than at their last meeting. His scar is a little more healed, and his hair is longer than before.

"Mello," he says in greeting.

"Near," Mello parrots.

Near shuts the door behind him and turns to give Mello his full attention. After all, he'd been expecting a visit from Mello for some time.

"You don't seem surprised that I'm sitting here," Mello says slowly, watching Near just as closely.

"Should I have been?" Near replies.

Mello tilts his head, hair falling in his eyes. "Well, you know everything else," he says gruffly.

The corners of Near's mouth twitch up into a smile. "That is true." Mello snorts. "Why are you here, Mello?"

A look flashes across Mello's eyes, and he stands, taking the half a dozen steps to pause right in front of Near. "I want to check something."

Near knows what this means. He tugs the neck of his shirt aside, allowing Mello to read the word "ambivalent" on his shoulder.

"This, I presume?"

Mello's gaze darkens. "How long have you known?"

Near sighs and fixes his shirt. "Since the day you arrived at Wammy's." He blinks up at Mello, face carefully neutral.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

Near bites the inside of his cheek, narrowing his eyes ever so slightly back at him. "I walked around with the word "hate" on my forehead for eleven years," he says dryly. "Do you really think you would have listened to me?"

Mello scowls at him, scuffing the toe of his boot onto the floor. "I didn't realize you were my soulmate at the time."

"Obviously."

Mello turns his head to the side. Near can see his jaw working. "I knew it was someone from Wammy's. When I left - it said that they missed me. I only realized it could've been you when I faked my death. It said "grieving." But Matt's didn't, and Linda is his soulmate. So I realized it must've been someone who knew details about the investigation." Mello narrows his eyes at him. "That only left you."

Near hums in understanding. That explains the sudden transition from "regret" to "confusion" when Near noticed the change from "dislike."

Mello lifts his shirt up and reveals the word "relieved" etched on his ribs. "This doesn't change anything," he says bluntly.

Near raises an eyebrow. "I didn't expect it to."

Mello pauses for a moment. "Good."

Near presses his lips together. "... Alright," he says.

Mello lets out a long breath. "Is Kira dead?" he asks, changing the subject.

Near nods. "The shinigami killed him."

Mello smirks, the irony not lost on him. "You couldn't have gotten him without me," he gloats. "Admit it. You couldn't have done it all without me."

"It appears not," Near says. The victory is his, but he is reminded of his words to the Japanese task force. He has never been afraid to give credit where credit is due.

Mello smirks again. "That's what I thought." He turns, walks back towards the chair he was waiting in. He climbs up it and hoists a leg up to the window. Pausing in the frame, he turns his head to consider Near one last time.

"Don't tell Roger I'm alive," he says, a final message, and then he slips outside.

Near waits until Mello shut the window behind him and then lifts a hand to twirl a piece of hair. New words stop him; his palm now reads, "begrudging affection."

One side of his mouth slowly curves up. Mello has never ceased to surprise him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift for madmeridian. Everyone, go check out her fics - they’re some of my favorites! Thank you for being my writing buddy lately <3


End file.
